Gmail automatically determines which contacts you'll be able to talk to without having to invite each other -- if you don't want Gmail to automatically enable chat privileges with your contacts, follow these steps:
- Log in to Gmail.
- Click the gear icon
in the upper right, then select Settings. - Open the Chat tab, and select Only allow people that I've explicitly approved to chat with me and see when I'm online.
- Click Save Changes.

in the upper right, then select Settings.